He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He? As in you personified your dick?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
