Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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