I'm so fucking centered right now
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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