I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize