adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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