I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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