my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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