Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
