so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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