Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize