There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way