You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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