Where is the hickey?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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