Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
