moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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