it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
