Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
