well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
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Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
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Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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