Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
