Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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