the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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