Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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