she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
