why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
