Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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