The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
