He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
