you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
