careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
