put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
