Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
