Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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