The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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