You're so nebulous sometimes
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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