Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
