Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
