I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Are we still banned from the library?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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