He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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