First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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