She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
