I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
