i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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