just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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