I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
