Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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