Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
