first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
