You made me cry and you don't even care
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
