The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
