im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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