is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
