I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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