Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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