oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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