If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
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You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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