I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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