I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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